Tales of the Parodyverse

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L!
Fri Sep 17, 2004 at 12:35:51 am EDT
Subject
The File Room #2
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In the dark recesses of the Lair Legion Mansion's basement, sits a man in a windowless room. The man sits at a regulation issue desk, the desk is covered with old & new books, files & other assorted reading materials. To the right of him is an iMAC computer for which he uses to access the LL's computer files & the internet. The room is littered with papers, file folders both filled & noted with files. Also there were boxes of files, book cases filled with books, files, filling cabinets & other things of that sort. This man is Lee Bookman, a sometimes rogue IOL Librarian & new associate member of the Lair Legion. He is also their unofficial record keeper at the moment.

As Lee works he mumbles to himself then, "Shawn" appears. "Shawn" is a portable directory of the Moon Public Library's, Lee's home base, information. The name of "Shawn" is not it's official designation, but Lee had to call it something. "Shawn" is a pear shaped robot, with a camera lens on the upper part & a speaker on the bottom.

"Excuse me, Mr. Bookman." It said, flying over to him using it's miniature rocket boosters, which are connected to it lower section.

"Yes, Shawn." Lee said, not looking up from his books, papers & things.

"It's Xi J-8, sir."

"Don't care. What do you want?" Lee said as he wrote a few notes to himself, backwards & upside down.

"According to my calculations, which are hardly ever wrong, you haven't sleep in the last four earth cycles."

"Don't care."

"But a organism like yourself must sleep to maintain life functions."

"Don't Care!" Lee said, loudly.

"I hate to do this but you do need to sleep." Shawn said as a small dart gun appeared out of the top on it's self. The dart gun was now focussed on Lee.

Lee threw a hockey puck sized object at Shawn, before it could dodge it, the puck hit him, which sent Shawn's systems into convulsions. Then, Shawn dropped out of the air on a pile of paper on the floor.

"I'm glad I still had a couple of those System Disrupters in my pocket." Lee thought to himself.

A window appeared on his computer screen with a noise signaling it's arrival.

*BLOOP*

Lee glanced at the screen. The window said that checkpoint 4 has been compromised. Lee set up a couple checkpoints so he would know when someone was coming to visit him. Lee types a few keys on the keyboard & another window appears, no sound signaling it's arrival this time. It shows a live feed on a few of the LL Mansion security cameras. (Lee hacked into that so he could watch what was happening around the mansion.) The window shows a woman walking towards the File Room. The Computer identifies her as Dancer.

Lee starts to panic. Most times when Dancers comes down to the file she wants him to go somewhere, Lee thinks she called it "Happy Hour". Lee went one time & watched most of the Lair Legion get drunk, he was the designated driver so he didn't drink. Lee did have an interesting, to say the least, conversation with CrazySugarFreakBoy! about the mating habits of Comic Book characters, something that he was very adamant about.

Lee pulls out a device from one of his jacket's pockets. It's palm sized & on the front was a large round button with the letter "L" with it. Lee pressed it.

"Lee?" Dancer said as she entered the room. She noticed there was a slight breeze. She looks around & notices that Lee's not there.

"HALLIE?"

The holographic projection of the Legion A.I. appears. "Yes?"

"Do you know where Lee is?"

"My sensors had him here in this room, but now they say he's not."

"Do they tell you where he is?" Dancer asked.

"No."

"Oh, ok." Dancer said. then, left the room. Dancer guess that she'll have to ask Lisa if she'd like to go out bar hopping with her.
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A few minutes later, a gust of wind started up & Lee returned to his desk, just like he had never left.

HALLIE appeared again. "Dancer was looking for you earlier."

"I know." Lee said with a sly smile on his face.

"So, where did you go ?"

"Out." Lee said before going back to work.

"oh." HALLIE said before disappearing. Her sensor were telling her that there was a fight between Yo & Manga Shoggoth that needed to be broken up.

After she left, Lee turned around & took a bit out of his, now cold, grilled cheese sandwich. He made it last night while most of the team that lives in the mansion were asleep. He sneaked by the living room where a few member were watching late night television. As Lee made his way to the kitchen, he narrowly avoided a meeting with the Mansion's Banshee. Lee made his sandwich & then retreated back to the basement.

After a couple bites, Lee turned to the computer & started to type up a few things. A reminder window appeared on the screen.

Lee reached over for his remote control & aimed at the Television that he found in one of the Legion's storage closets there in the basement. It was a small, color Tv that he perched on a small bookcase that was facing the desk. The Television doesn't have cable but Lee thinks he could get it if he wanted it. Lee turned it on because "JEOPARDY" was on. It made good background noise.

"What is Spain?" Lee mumbled after a clue was given. He was right.

Lee would never go on the show, The Ruling Council of the IOL gets Earth Television Transmissions back at the home world & monitors for reasons unknown to Lee. Lee thinks most of it is unwatchable. Lee still doesn't understand the "Fart Joke" & why most people think that it's funny. By this time Shawn's systems has righted it's self.

He floated up from the floor & said. "Excuse me, Mr. Bookman."

"Yes, Shawn." Lee said, not looking up.

"The designation is XiJ-8, sir."

"Don't care. What do you want, now?" Lee said.

"Who is Bach?" Lee mumbled answering a Jeopardy clue.

"I believe that he was an Earth Composer of music."

"I wasn't talking to you."

"Oh! According to my calculations, which are hardly ever wrong, you haven't sleep in the last four earth cycles."

"I Don't care."

"But a organism like yourself must sleep to maintain life functions."

"I said I Don't Care." Lee yelled.

"That does not compute. I hate to do this but you do need sleep." Shawn said as a small dart gun appeared out of the top on it's self. The dart gun was not focussed on Lee.

Lee threw another one of the Systems Disrupters at Shawn.

"I avoided that one this time." Shawn said with a smug tone to voice or at least that what it sounded like to Lee.

Lee looked up as the Systems Disrupter bounced off the wall & hit Shawn on it return trip back to him. Shawn's systems went back into convulsions. Then, Shawn dropped out of the air back onto the same pile of papers. There were about known Hooded Hood chronial recons.

Lee went back to his papers. He wonders why D.D. made him bring Shawn anyway.

THE END!
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Footnote:

I know this is sort of like my last Lee Bookman story, that's why I titled it "File Room 2".

"Shawn" was just something a came up with recently & decided to add him to the Lee Bookman cast of characters. This is also the first time Lee has been seen with "System Distrupters" but he might have had them before & not used.

I hope I got the members of the Lair Legion right. Maybe one day, I'll write a Lee Bookman story that involves the Lair Legion that doesn't have the File Room in it. I have no idea where this fits in with the Lair Legion timeline, It's sometime around now. (Maybe before the current arc in Untold Tales? I'm not sure.)

This is in now way saying that I'm back to fulling Posting satus, it's just that I had sometime to write & disided to post this now & not wait until later. Please reply to this story, even if I can't reply back.



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